October 27, 2014

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Moving on…

I am going to backup my files and shut down this site. Sad but true. I will be moving to another site (Insights of 2 Scrappy Sisters). My sister and I have been working on Digital Scrapbooking for years. She has taught me so very much and documented a lot of it on our shared site. I am now going to go there to post. It is ‘dead’ right now because I don’t need much more teaching… but I need a spot to post about my family and our activities. No sense in having two sites. So this one is going down and I’m going to start making scrapbook pages of my family. This way when a special comes my way to print them in a book. I’ll be ready!

Ever since my mom died over a year ago… I have been floundering. This site was started for her. Just for her. Then it evolved and I used it as a diary of my family. It was GREAT for those times I needed to put together something for memories of our family. But this last year… nothing. I just posted – nothing. I didn’t do any paid posts, I didn’t post about my family, and it is time for me to let go. I’ll still be around reading your posts… and you can find me at:

2 Scrappy Sisters

until they take the site down. I paid for a year, so it will be around for a while. After that… Poof. Head on over to the other site. I’ll have humor, family fun and scrapbooking pages to share. See ya!

August 20, 2014

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Humor for Wednesday

Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget what that purpose was? Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses.

Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing through a doorway triggers what’s known as an Event Boundary in the mind, separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next. Your brain files away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate for the new locale.

Thank goodness for studies like this. It’s not our age, it’s that d*mn door!

Did I post this before?

August 6, 2014

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Humor for Wednesday

Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an Office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD

Outside a second hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer’s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS

On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)

Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn’t you say?
Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife and Daughter
This one I caught in the SGV Tribune the other day and called the Editorial Room and asked who wrote this.
It took two or three readings before the editor realized that what he was reading was impossible!!!They put in a correction the next day.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Really? Ya think?
—————————————————————————-
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that’s taking things a bit far!
———————————————————–
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
What a guy!
—————————————————————
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Good-for-nothing’ lazy so-and-so’s!
—————————————————–
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
See if that works any better than a fair trial!
———————————————————-
War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!
—————————————————————-
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
You think?!
———————————————————————–
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought!
—————————————————————-
Enfield(London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
They may be on to something!
————————————————————————
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?
———————————————————-
Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
He probably IS the battery charge!
———————————————-
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Weren’t they fat enough?!
———————————————–
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That’s what he gets for eating those beans!
————————————————-

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Do they taste like chicken?
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Local High School Drop-outs Cut in Half
Chainsaw Massacre all over again!
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!
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And the winner is….
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

July 30, 2014

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Humor for Wednesday

Since I am getting older… I thought these humorous:

o A walk can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a Nursing Home at $4,000 per month.

o …And then she asked “What’s the best form of birth control after 50?” … I said “Nudity”

o The only reason I would take up walking is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

o I have to walk early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I’m doing…

o Every time I hear the dirty word ‘exercise’, I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

o The advantage of exercising every day is so when you die, they’ll say, ‘Well, he looks good doesn’t he.’

o I do have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

o If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

o I know I got a lot of exercise the last few years,…Just getting over the hill.

July 19, 2014

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Dull? Never dull around here

My husband and son are on their way home from a week long boy scout summer camp. I am excited to have them back. It has been an odd couple of months. The company I work for is outsourcing my job so I will be out of job around December – their timing stinks. My kids are hitting puberty and making their emotions go up and down faster than an elevator on steroids. I was hitting a middle age crisis after my mom died last year and just bought a puppy. I have to be a crazy woman.

With all that in mind I have been wondering if I should work from home… maybe do digital scrapbooking. Love that stuff. I was looking around at options to get business stuff printed and found printing nyc. Cool site. I like the way they set up their site. Still… all of this is on the back burner until I can get a plan outlined and decide how much money we need coming in to the household. We’ll see… I’ll keep you posted. If you hear of any part time (10 to 15 hours a week) IT jobs, let me know!

July 16, 2014

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Humor for Wednesday

Read this before and I have to say I still laughed at it!!!

Someday you may be invited to fly in the back-seat of one of your country’s most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have. John Elway, John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get this opportunity, let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity… Move to Guam.

Change your name.

Fake your own death!

Whatever you do.

Do Not Go!!!

I know.

The U.S. Navy invited me to try it. I was thrilled. I was pumped. I was toast! I should have known when they told me my pilot would be Chip (Biff) King of Fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach.

Whatever you’re thinking a Top Gun named Chip (Biff) King looks like, triple it. He’s about six-foot, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer hair, finger-crippling handshake — the kind of man who wrestles dyspeptic alligators in his leisure time. If you see this man, run the other way, Fast.

Biff King was born to fly. His father, Jack King, was for years the voice of NASA missions. (‘T-minus 15 seconds and counting .’ Remember?) Chip would charge neighborhood kids a quarter each to hear his dad. Jack would wake up from naps surrounded by nine-year-olds waiting for him to say, ‘We have liftoff’.

Biff was to fly me in an F-14D Tomcat, a ridiculously powerful $60 million weapon with nearly as much thrust as weight, not unlike Colin Montgomerie. I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the flight I asked Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning.

‘Bananas,’ he said.

‘For the potassium?’ I asked.

‘No,’ Biff said, ‘because they taste about the same coming up as they do going down.’

The next morning, out on the tarmac, I had on my flight suit with my name sewn over the left breast.

(No call sign — like Crash or Sticky or Leadfoot. But, still, very cool.) I carried my helmet in the crook of my arm, as Biff had instructed. If ever in my life I had a chance to nail Nicole Kidman, this was it.

A fighter pilot named Psycho gave me a safety briefing and then fastened me into my ejection seat, which, when employed, would ‘egress’ me out of the plane at such a velocity that I would be immediately knocked unconscious.

Just as I was thinking about aborting the flight, the canopy closed over me, and Biff gave the ground crew a thumbs-up. In minutes we were firing nose up at 600 mph. We leveled out and then canopy-rolled over another F-14.

Those 20 minutes were the rush of my life. Unfortunately, the ride lasted 80.. It was like being on the roller coaster at Six Flags Over Hell. Only without rails. We did barrel rolls, snap rolls, loops, yanks and banks. We dived, rose and dived again, sometimes with a vertical velocity of 10,000 feet per minute. We chased another F-14, and it chased us.

We broke the speed of sound. Sea was sky and sky was sea. Flying at 200 feet we did 90-degree turns at 550 mph, creating a G force of 6.5, which is to say I felt as if 6.5 times my body weight was smashing against me, thereby approximating life as Colin Montgomerie.
And I egressed the bananas.

And I egressed the pizza from the night before.

And the lunch before that.

I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade.

I made Linda Blair look polite. Because of the G’s, I was egressing stuff that never thought would be egressed.

I went through not one airsick bag, but two.

Biff said I passed out. Twice. I was coated in sweat. At one point, as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock bombing target and the G’s were flattening me like a tortilla and I was in and out of consciousness, I realized I was the first person in history to throw down.

I used to know ‘cool’. Cool was Elway throwing a touchdown pass, or Norman making a five-iron bite. But now Ireally know ‘cool’. Cool is guys like Biff, men with cast-iron stomachs and freon nerves. I wouldn’t go up there again for Derek Jeter’s black book, but I’m glad Biff does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home stand.

A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called. He said he and the fighters had the perfect call sign for me. Said he’d send it on a patch for my flight suit.

What is it?? I asked.

‘Two Bags.’

July 9, 2014

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Where did the summer go?

I can’t believe it is half over. Wow. We have been busy with virtual math, camps and vacations. I have been working longer hours… Looking back at the calendar, we have had drama camp a couple of times, minecraft art camp, a week off with mom, and the inlaws over. We have made a flag cake for 4th of July. My oldest went to percussion camp for two weeks. We have missed a lot of music lessons. Which makes a difference for the trumpet / piano / guitar player. It is hard to be a great player when you don’t practice enough and don’t get lessons to fix those problem areas. Oh well.

Along with all of that, I had a midlife crisis and purchased another puppy. She comes home in this weekend. Her name will be Gypsy. I hope I made a good decision, considering I fell off my bike and fractured my hand after I bought her. More as I get time!

June 12, 2014

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Humor for Wednesday – a day late

What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a burger? — Fast Food!

Why was the math book sad? — it had too many problems.

What did the buffalo say to his kid when he dropped him off for school? — Bison

June 12, 2014

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And the winner is…

the elementary school. What?? No joke. They got the grades and scores updated on the online system first. That was on Tuesday… it is now Thursday and … no scores for the middle school kids. Interesting. Guess it is not just the middle school kids that have issues with organization and emotions. ;-)

June 10, 2014

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Summer Is Here

Whoa… I can’t believe it is already summer. I also am planning on taking more time off with my kids this summer. Hope they don’t mind! Working hard this week so we can play more in the future. Life is never dull now adays with my job going to be gone soon, trying to sell my mom’s house and my oldest going through puberty. Did I mention I am going through menopause? Yaa, just adds to the fun. Can’t wait for the kids to read this when they get older. HAHAHAHA.

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