Humor for Wednesday

Hard to find non-political humor now adays!

SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE

The outgoing message:

‘Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting to the right staff member, please listen to all the options before making a selection: ‘

‘To lie about why your child is absent – Press 1′

‘To make excuses for why your child did not do his work -Press 2′

‘To complain about what we do – Press 3′

‘To swear at staff members – Press 4′

‘To ask why you didn’t get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you – Press 5′

‘If you want us to raise your child – Press 6′

‘If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone – Press 7′

‘To request another teacher, for the third time this year – Press 8′

‘To complain about bus transportation – Press 9′

‘To complain about school lunches – Press 0′

‘If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework and that it’s not the teachers’ fault for your child’s lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!’