Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:

• If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.

• If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

• If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.

• If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.

• If you buy a car, it will go to Japan or Korea.

• If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.

• If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it off shore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1. Spending it at yard sales, or

2. Going to ball games, or

3. Spending it on prostitutes, or

4. Domestic beer or

5. Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the US.)

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day.

Tags: Humor