Ooops, getting ready for Thanksgiving… late getting out the humor.

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Thanksgiving and says,”I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough.

“Pop, what are you talking about?” the son screams. We can’t stand the sight of each other any longer,” the father says. “We’re sick of each other, and I’m sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her.”

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced,” she shouts, “I’ll take care of this,”

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Okay,” he says, “they’re coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way.”

= = = = = = = = = = =

Thanksgiving day was approaching and the family had received a Thanksgiving card with a painting of a pilgrim family on their way to church. Grandma showed the card to her small grandchildren, observing: “The Pilgrim children liked to go to church with their mothers and fathers.”

Oh yeah?” her young grandson replied, “so why is their dad carrying that rifle?”

= = = = = = = = = =

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.

Asked to write a composition entitled, “What I’m thankful for on Thanksgiving,” little Timothy wrote, “I am thankfull that I’m not a turkey.”

What key has legs and can’t open doors?
Turkey.

What sound does a space turkey make?
hubble, hubble, hubble.

Keep your eye off the turkey dressing
It makes him blush!!!!

Tags: Humor