I might do this when my kids are teenagers to annoy them…
To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. On all your cheque stubs, write ‘ For Marijuana’
3. Skip down the street Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat,with a serious face.
5. Sing Along At The Opera.
6. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream ‘I Won! I Won!’
7. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Car Park, Yelling’Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’
8. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ‘Due To The Economy, We are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.’
And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity
9. PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY, GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.
Lots been going on, but mostly it has been me working on a yearbook for the kids’ school. Hence, not a lot on stuff to post out here. Though I have been looking at what my children eat. We are cutting back on the sweets (had way to much over the christmas break)… and I’m letting them have hamburgers for breakfast. I thought chicken nuggets with waffles smelled bad… making hamburgers at 5:45am is enough to make me want to barf. Ugh.
Hope everyone is staying warm and will try to get my brain into gear for the rest of the week!
While visiting Mrs. Who’s blog… she sent me HERE for a Calvin and Hobbs moment. Go on… check it out. Yep… I have boys and can relate! Good thing we don’t have snow here… I could soooo see my boys out creating snowman like this. Just add lightsabers.
My youngest is running around singing a Phineas and Ferb song that just won’t go away in my head… here it is from youtube:
Now if I could just get my children to understand that I’m mom and you will do what I say and it is no joke. Sigh… Hard to be strong when all I can do is listen to that song in my head and picture my youngest doing the moves around the house as he sings it.
Finally. The last breast infection boiled up and pop’d without having to go to the breast doctor. Trust me, I wanted to see if I could wait this one out. It HURTS worse than giving natural child birth the first time to get it taken care of. It is all nerves in there and they would cut it and put a splint in it. Yaa, you heard that right a splint into an open wound that is surrounded by nerves. Even codeine wouldn’t stop the pain. This one finished on it’s own. And it was starting to bother me to the point I was going to make an appointment next week. I kept seeing Mesothelioma cancer ads on TV and on the computer. I read Bou’s post on a young mother dieing of cancer. Even though I knew this was just an infection, seeing and reading about cancer just gets to you after a while. Now I can breath again. Let’s see if I can find something more interesting to post about later today!
Seriously… they are predicting snow as far south as Orlando. See THIS NEWS ARTICLE from one of the newspapers down this way. And I will quote it here in case it disappears:
Although the prediction of snow in Central Florida might strike some locals as an odd event, it’s not the first time snow flakes have made it into the forecast.
Light snow mixed with rain fell over Deltona, Lake Mary, Ponce Inlet, Ocoee and Orlando on Nov. 21, 2006. Residents living in Brevard and Volusia counties saw snow flurries blowing snow on the beaches on Jan. 24, 2003.
A heavy snow flurry in Jan. 1989 destroyed many sidewalks in Jacksonville because an inch of snow fell on nearly an inch of ice that covered the pavement.
The most famous incident of Arctic weather in Florida was when snow fell in Miami and other parts of South Florida in the morning hours of Jan. 19, 1977. The weather phenomenon was an international news event because of its oddity.
The excitement didn’t last long because the snow melted soon after falling. Weather conditions returned to normal the following day.
For many residents in Central Florida, frost has been spotted on cars and lawns for several days this week.
Forecasters said there is a 30 percent chance of showers today, mainly after 1 p.m. Skies will be mostly cloudy. The high is expected to reach 55, with a low around 35.
Chances of showers increase in the evening hours.
Keep a watch for possible snow flurries and sleet in the overnight hours through 11 a.m. Saturday.
Having lived with boys for 7 years, going on 8… I have discovered they laugh at the grossest stuff. Say underwear around boys… and they crack up laughing. One of the favorite books my kids read is “Chicken Butt” that we checked out of our local library. Don’t say “Guess What?” at our house or you’ll hear “Chicken Butt” in response.
While looking for some new humor to post, I found another book I’ll have to see if I can find… Walter the Farting Dog. I know my boys would love it. Just from the title. It says Fart. Another one of those instant laugh words.
It amazes me how different the boys are from the girls. I don’t care how carefully you raise your boys to be ‘generic’… I’m telling you… they will laugh at, shoot at, and make fun of things that are not the least bit funny to girls. Yep… I’ll just keep looking for books and other items to keep my boys laughing… knowing that most of them will just not be that funny to me. Though I do respond Chicken Butt to a lot of ‘Guess What’ questions from my kids.
Seems I have been out of the loop for too long… someone asked me if they should get a desktop, laptop or netbook…. I gave them a blank stare. What was netbooks? I had to look it up and find out. It’s a ‘mini laptop’ or a ‘big iphone’… basically. It doesn’t have the power of a laptop to do a lot of software but can do internet surfing and emailing. It is bigger than an iphone, so it has a nicer screen and bigger keyboard. Still not sure which group of people are more likely to buy it. It is not enough for the tweens and younger because you can’t load all their software on it… maybe the teenagers or younger adults would like it for portability to msg/email and keep up with youtube? But it looks a little small for the “over 60″ crowd…. you would need a bigger screen and keyboard. Heck, I’m almost at that age… I just increased the font size on my desktop!
Oh well… so many new toys… wonder which one I should check out next?
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. ‘Doctor,’ the man said, ‘I don’t mind telling you, but I’m a little upset because my daughter has red hair. She can’t possibly be mine!!’ The doctor said. ‘Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool.’
‘It isn’t possible,’ the man insisted. ‘This can’t be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations.’ ‘Well,’ said the doctor, ‘let me ask you this. How often do you have sex???’
The man seemed a bit ashamed. ‘I’ve been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months.’
‘Well, there you have it!’ The doctor said confidently. ‘It’s rust!!
