One Happy Dog Speaks

Ok, I’m off to take pictures of my boys on horses. I have about 5 loads of laundry to do, and more… but instead, I’m going to go to the ranch and watch my boys ride after five days of training. Let’s see if they really can steer that horse. I’m so excited!!!!

The boys are having a blast. Washing, brushing and riding. A little bored with the afternoon swim. But overall, they are excited with the riding and that makes me happy. Particularly since I use to ride as a kid and an adult. They have pictures of the horse and pony I use to own and them near the oldest. He doesn’t really remember the two. The pony died and the horse was given away. It was just too much for me to upkeep a high maintenance horse and kids as well. It was for the best. Still, it makes me happy to see them enjoying something I enjoyed in my life. Maybe we can all go riding one day. Awesome!

A man goes to a shrink and says, “Doctor, my wife is unfaithful to me. Every evening, she goes to Larry’s bar and picks up men. In fact, she sleeps with anybody who asks her! I’m going crazy. What do you think I should do?”

“Relax,” says the Doctor, “take a deep breath and calm down. Now, tell me, exactly where is Larry’s bar?”

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John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully, “Give me one last request, dear,” he said.

“Of course, John,” his wife said softly.

“Six months after I die,” he said, “I want you to marry Bob.”

“But I thought you hated Bob,” she said..

With his last breath John said, “I do!”

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A man goes to see the Rabbi. ‘

“Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.”

The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?”

The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.

The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?”

The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s poisoning me, what should I do?”

The Rabbi then offers, “Tell you what. Let me talk to her, I’ll see what I can find out and I’ll let you know.”

A week later the Rabbi calls the man and says, “I spoke to her on the phone for three hours. You want my advice?

The man said, “Yes” and the Rabbi replied, “Take the poison.”

when I saw this in an email:

The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance…The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, ‘Well, she’s there.’

I need to remember to put life in perspective occasionally. It is hard when you have a sick kid, not enough sleep and a life to live. One of my favorite Zen quotes is “You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.”. When I’m tired and frustrated I have a tendency to get angry over little things. And all this week is has come back to bite me in the butt. Comes with having smart kids. Nothing like them questioning why you are upset over something silly. Yaa. Need to remember how to mediate…. and find the time. Life is good, when I remember to let it be.

Well, we are full of music. It has been fun as they practiced for the talent show at drama camp. I’m just glad we have limited it to drums, piano and trumpet. I am still waiting on seagull guitars or something similar. Until then, the drums and trumpet are making my house shake. The piano… not so much. But I do love hearing my son play the piano. There is something about a piano that just makes me feel good.

I’m learning to enjoy the drums. And my son is learning to play softer. Which I think has helped immensely. Life is good.

The oldest really enjoyed it this year. The youngest wants to go again (and he will). They brought home some cute stuff and some great stories. Though my oldest learned that Dick was not just someone’s name. Sigh. It seems like the counselors don’t quite remember to keep the language at a lower level. The A word and the S word were told to me multiple times in stories. Sigh. Yep… my kids are getting older.

I have been trying to lose weight for years now. Not at all successfully. And now my oldest is soon to be 10… I realize there is a possibility in 10 years he might get married. At the rate I’m gaining, I’ll be looking for plus size mother of the groom dresses for his wedding. I am not consistent in my trying to lose weight. I think I’m going to have to break down and spend money. I am very consistent if I spend money on something. Though a gym won’t do it. I did try a gym for 3 months and … nothing… I really did go. I just did not enjoy it and at the end of the three months I didn’t want to go back.

I’ll let you know what happens… once I decide what I’m going to do.

Democrats don’t understand the DEBT CEILING
Liberals don’t understand the DEBT CEILING
Many Republicans don’t understand the DEBT CEILING

NO ONE seems to understand the DEBT CEILING.
So…Allow me to explain…

Let’s say you come home from work and find there has been a sewer backup in
your neighborhood. Your home has sewage all the way up to your ceilings.

What do you think you should do?

Raise the ceilings, or pump out the sh*t?

I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming.

Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, “So which six items would you like to buy?”

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Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table.

“Young man, we’re both 90 years old,” the husband said. “We may not have 45 minutes.”

They were seated immediately.

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The reason Politicians try so hard to get re-elected is that they would “hate” to have to make a living under the laws they’ve passed.

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All eyes were on the radiant bride as her father escorted her down the aisle. They reached the altar and the waiting groom, the bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand.

The guests in the front pews responded with ripples of laughter. Even the priest smiled broadly.

As her father gave her away in marriage, the bride gave him back his credit card.

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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

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Three friends from the local congregation were asked, “When you’re in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?”

Artie said, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.”

Eugene commented, “I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people’s lives..”

Al said, “I’d like them to say, ‘Look, he’s moving!’”