One Happy Dog Speaks

Are We Even Related?

vw bug — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:11:26 +0000

I was sent an email asking if I had ever tried the MyHeritage.com Look-alike Meter. Of course I couldn’t resist. I put in hubby’s, mine and the oldest. Guess what… he looks more like hubby by 6%. That’s it. The youngest looks more like me by 3%. Those aren’t big numbers. I wonder if we are even related??? It was cute and I had fun trying it. I was surprised the numbers weren’t bigger. Let me know if you try it and how it turns out. I was tempted to put in my mom as my child. I might still do it for giggles. If I do, I’ll let you know the results!

More Humor for Wednesday

vw bug — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 10:51:38 +0000

Just read this in an email and loved it!

Random Thoughts for the Day:

1. I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this — ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

18. My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?

19. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

20. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites OR Budweiser than Kay.

Humor for Wednesday

vw bug — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:11:14 +0000

Larry’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ‘Yes,’ said the policeman. ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked,”Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture ? ”

*****

The math teacher saw that Larry wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, ‘Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’ Larry quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’

*****

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom …’

Breath

vw bug — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 09:30:15 +0000

Phew. I can breath again. So much going on and not enough time to get my act together. Might even have 3 males visiting for a week. I must have been out of my mind when I said yes. Let me get my mind back into gear and I’ll tell you the whole story another day. AFTER I get this yearbook submitted today!

Weekend Fun

vw bug — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 10:42:03 +0000

What an insane weekend. I went to a function on Saturday that was a blast. I met some great people and really enjoyed myself… until I got home. The oldest hadn’t done his homework, dad was frustrated, the youngest had the sniffles. Yaa… we made it through it and I even got a weee bit done on the yearbook. Sunday roles around… we are getting stuff done as quickly as possible because the sister-in-law and fiance are on their way. They got here around 2pm. It was really nice. The hubby got time to talk to her, I got time to work on the yearbook and the kids convinced her to play lego rock band on the wii. We went to go see the turtle hatchery only to find out it closed 15 minutes before we got there. Closes early on Sundays. Ooops. But ended up going to dinner and having a blast. Yep, insane and today I MUST finish the yearbook. Hopefully the youngest is going to be ok. Still sniffling. Sigh.

Toys toys and more toys

vw bug — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 19:59:08 +0000

It is almost time for me to get a new phone. My contract is almost up. I have been looking at an iphone and iphone accessories. Wow. They have all sorts of weird stuff… a docking station that can be used as an FM radio, arm band holders and odd windshield holders. I don’t need that stuff and probably won’t bother getting that… I’ll find the cheapest one with a decent photo ability and this time a keyboard. Using the keypad sucks. Unless any of you have any ideas. Is there one you really like or don’t like? Particularly the don’t like… I would hate to get one and be stuck with it for a year or two. Let me know!

Sparring and Midnight Oils

vw bug — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 10:53:13 +0000

We finally made it. The boys are now sparring in Karate. My Oldest was psyched yesterday. He got to spar an older boy who is one rank above him and kicked his arse to start with. The other boy is very very timid. And kept backing down. Not my son… he went after him full force.

The younger one had to spar against a good friend and was worried about hitting him. You could tell. But both now say they want to spar in the tournament. NOT. The tournament is in one month. We don’t have sparring equipment AND this was their first time ever getting to spar.

Besides, I have been up to midnight working on this yearbook… ugh. I can’t think straight anymore. Have a great Friday and wish me luck on getting it done with minimum of errors!

Never Again

vw bug — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 04:16:49 +0000

Yes, it is 11pm at night and I’m posting this. You probably won’t see much in the morning initially. I am working on the yearbook. And waiting on volunteers to get you stuff SUCKS. That and I think I need discount prescription glasses… discounted because I’m not getting paid for the work I’m doing right now. Sucks to be me some days. I could be making a fortune if this was paid work! Ok, back to work. Just letting you know the next two days may be slim pick’ns.

More Humor for Wednesday

vw bug — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 09:54:54 +0000

Have You Ever Danced?
An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio , Texas leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, “Hey old man, have you ever danced?” The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, “No, I never did dance… never really wanted to.”

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, “Well, you old fool, you’re gonna’ dance now,” and started shooting at the old man’s feet. The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet. Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man’s hands, as he quietly said, “Son, have you ever kissed a mule’s ass?”

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, “No sir….. but… I’ve always wanted to.”

There are two lessons for us all here:

Don’t waste ammunition.
Don’t mess with old people.

I just love a story with a happy ending!

Humor for Wednesday

vw bug — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 09:22:22 +0000

Fact of Life:

After Monday and Tuesday…
even the calendar says

W T F.